


how doth the little crocodile

by AAABatteries



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Season/Series 07, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Episode: s07e18 The Guardian, F/F, Guardian Alice | Tilly, Minor Cinderella | Jacinda Vidrio/Henry Mills, Minor Dorothy Gale/Red Riding Hood | Ruby, Season/Series 07, The Coven of the Eight, The Guardian (Once Upon a Time), additional tags/warnings to be added as needed, most canon ships are background or alluded to but notably:, plenty of angst here which i think is a given from the premise, this simple little canon divergence turned into me screaming about lore please enjoy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-18
Updated: 2019-05-18
Packaged: 2020-03-07 10:44:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18871609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AAABatteries/pseuds/AAABatteries
Summary: I'm in the world forever,she had said. How true those words were now.-Rumplestiltskin's change of heart comes a moment too late and Alice's fate is forever altered. The Dark One is no more, but Alice finds herself burdened with power and eternal life she didn't ask for. Her quest to rid herself of them leads her down a path that tests her and her loved ones more than any curse could.





	how doth the little crocodile

**Author's Note:**

> happy 1 year anniversary of 7x22! I've had this fic idea bouncing around in my head for the better part of a year and I finally got my ass in gear and finished the first chapter! this is a very self indulgent AU that I hope people will like? I got inspired by a couple questions Rose was asked at cons about how Alice would handle the guardian's power - her answers were interesting and got me fitting a whole season 7 rewrite around them, oops
> 
> this started out as a simple alice-centric character study concept and then when I started thinking about how things would change and connecting the dots, I ended up just..... going for a huge multi-chapter fic
> 
> Curious Archer and Knightrook are the obvious focuses here, but definitely expect Robin & Zelena, Tremaine family shenanigans, some coven lore, me attempting to poorly salvage Rumple's character arc, a rarepair that literally no one ships (YET), an uncomfortable amount of 5a callbacks, [REDACTED FOR SPOILERS], and Alice Jones just being iconic in general, as she does.
> 
> enjoy the ride!! kudos and comments mean the world to me yall

_Alice._

The sound came from everywhere and nowhere at once. Her eyes darted across the room, searching for the source, as the voice's sharp sibilance echoed through her mind.

_Alice._

There. The serpentine knife resting in Rumplestiltskin's hand. As she laid eyes on it, the whispers began to shift, new words spilling out one over another. It was a message—one she couldn't quite parse, but one thing was clear—it was calling for her to take it.

"I think the dagger knows," she said. Rumplestiltskin glanced down, confusion written as plainly on his face as it was on hers. "It's trying to tell me."

As she turned her head and reached out, the whispering grew to a roar, each incomprehensible voice pounding in her ears. The dagger leapt from the Dark One's palm with no resistance and into hers.

She caught it easily, her fingers holding fast around the hilt. It was weightless, and yet she felt her arm shake with the effort of steadying it, the dagger quaking from its own power. For a moment, one voice rang above the others from the maelstrom in her head.

_Take it,_ it intoned. So she did.

The room crackled with energy, and she could feel a warmth creeping its way up her arm from where she held the dagger. In front of her, Rumplestiltskin stumbled backwards as dark tendrils began to stream from his body. They swirled about the room, seeming to revel in their newfound freedom, before they were pulled in by the dagger.

She stared, transfixed, hardly registering the way her hair whipped around her. The dagger was pulling at her to use it, to bend the raging darkness to her will.

She hadn't thought the whispers could get any louder, but as the last strips of pitch black found their way into the blade, the voices raised themselves to a clamorous cacophony. If she concentrated, she could begin to separate them—young and old, a variety of pitches and cadences.

_It's yours now._

She watched as the name faded from the blade, each letter disappearing in a wash of light. The last voice had been Rumplestiltskin's, she realized.

Rumplestiltskin took another step back, examining his hands.

She didn't have the time to wonder what that meant. The dagger was consuming more and more of her attention and energy, her surroundings slipping into the edges of her awareness.

_Take the power._

This voice was different—softer, feminine. Unfamiliar.

She turned her hand gently, the blade trembling in her grasp, as if attempting to escape. One by one, she pried her fingers away from the hilt, every ounce of magic in her body attempting to mold it in her hands. The dagger began to sing.

Except it wasn't a dagger anymore. A brilliant white spark shone in her hand as it changed shape, the blade melting away to trace circles around it.

Power rippled from the nimbus in her hand, pressing the air back in waves. Carefully, she raised her other hand to meet it, as if preparing to catch a firefly between her palms. It wasn't fighting her, but she felt as though she were pushing through a thick tar, the energy from the dagger making the air heavy.

_Almost there._

Her fingers were beginning to lock together, light pouring from in between, when the last voice spoke. For an instant, her heart skipped a beat as she thought she recognized the speaker— _but it couldn't be_ —before her hands closed around what was left of the Dark One's dagger.

A _whoosh_ of magic enveloped the room like a thunderclap, and Alice felt a wave of heat pass through her body, starting from her palms and ending at her feet, pulling her thoughts away from the voice.

Finally, everything was still. The voices subsided, the heat passed, the light went out, and she stood in silence with a wide-eyed Rumplestiltskin.

Her heartbeat began to bring itself back down to a regular pace. She managed to take a deep breath and center herself.

She felt _good._ Any soreness she might have felt from the trek to Dr. Facilier's had been washed away, leaving her light on her feet and alert. The very air around her seemed to hum with excitement, and she felt a surge of pride. _It worked._

Rumplestiltskin, however, looked shaken, leaning against the altar to steady himself. His eyes darted across the floor, not daring to meet hers.

Alice frowned. "Didn't it work?" she asked, confused. Surely she had been successful at... _whatever_ exactly it was the dagger had just asked of her.

"No, no, it worked," he answered hastily, stepping back from the altar and resting his gaze on the portrait of Belle. "It worked."

Elated, Alice reached for his hand and grasped it tightly in both of hers.

"You did it," she assured him. "You put the Darkness behind you."

He still wouldn't meet her eyes, but he managed a small smile. "Yes, I suppose I did."

"Now," she started, placing her hands on her hips, "shall we go home?"

Rumplestiltskin nodded in response. Neither of them spoke for a moment, Alice idly swinging her arms around in anticipation.

"I can't transport us out of here," he explained when the silence had gone on a moment too long. "Either we walk, or you do the honors."

Alice blinked. " _Me?_ "

In retrospect, it made sense to her that Rumplestiltskin would be without his powers, but in all their time together, she had never inquired about the nature of the curse, nor had he elected to elaborate. Even now, having taken the dagger from him, she was unsure of what effects it might have on her.

"I've never done that kind of magic before," she admitted.

"Should be no problem for you. If you'll allow me, I can walk you through it."

She nodded.

"All you need to do," he began, "is imagine the place you want to go."

_Home._ Her cottage, with Robin sitting on the porch, passing the time as she waiting for her return.

"Picture it in your mind's eye. Picture it clearly," he continued.

She squeezed her eyes closed as she pictured it—an extraneous step, she figured, but she felt the need to brace for impact.

The world lurched, the floor falling out from under her. A knot formed in her stomach and she snapped her eyes back open in a panic, only to see the snow-covered woods fade into view, a puff of sky blue smoke dissipating into the air. Everything stabilized once more.

"You're back!"

_Robin._ Alice dashed up the steps as Robin leapt to her feet and threw her arms around her with enough enthusiasm to send both of them stumbling back a few feet. Robin laughed as she caught her, her voice muffled through her hair.

Behind her, Rumplestiltskin took off opposite her, out into the woods, shivering slightly.

"Everything okay?" Robin asked.

"Never better," Alice answered into her shoulder.

Her heart was still pounding—the ease with which she had _poofed_ back home had alarmed her. Magic had always felt like a puzzle to her. Some days it was harder than others, but she always needed the pieces to click into place before it worked. Just now, however, it had felt like flexing a muscle, a natural extension of herself.

_If Rumplestiltskin lost his magic,_ she realized, _did I gain it?_

It was logical—surely the reason he felt the need to test her—but his silence on the matter troubled her. Other questions about her Guardianship began coming to mind, but she wasn't sure she wanted them answered.

"Alright!" she exclaimed, pulling back from the hug. "Think I'm hungry."

They stepped back towards the small table and chairs on the porch. A tea kettle and an assortment of snacks lay waiting for them both, and Alice reached for a biscuit as she sat.

"So, you found the cure?"

"Hm?" Alice asked through a mouthful.

"For your father," Robin clarified.

_Right._ The morning had been such a whirlwind of events, the fact that Robin didn't know the full story had never crossed her mind.

"That was a lie," she said, a note of disappointment in her voice. "Well, s'pose it wasn't a _lie,_ but I would have had to crush someone else's heart."

Robin's eyes widened.

"So that one's out," Alice continued. "It was a test. Rumple said he's looking for someone 'pure of heart,' so he can get rid of his Dark-One-ness."

She glanced to the side, where the man in question had retreated to the edge of the clearing, looking back at the two of them. He was too far away to see his face clearly, but Alice could sense the evasiveness he had back at the altar.

"Wow," Robin said, leaning back in her chair. Alice turned back to look at her. "Didn't know that was possible."

"Neither did I," she admitted. "But it worked, I think."

Robin started pouring herself a cup of tea as Alice took a moment to ponder what _it worked_ really meant.

After a moment, she spoke up again. "Actually, I wonder if the Dark—"

_—Alice alone, didn't I?_

The voice— _her papa's voice_ —startled her mid-sentence. The words at the end had begun to fade out, but the sound had been loud and clear as if he were standing right next to her. The thought she might be close enough to hurt him sent a jolt of panic through her, and she glanced around rapidly until she spotted him.

He was next to Rumplestiltskin at the woods' edge, engaged in conversation with him. There was something hostile in his posture, but he was well out of earshot.

_But his voice was so clear,_ she thought.

"Did—did you hear that?" she asked, turning back to Robin. Robin, for her part, had glanced about in bewilderment after Alice had stopped speaking.

"Hear what?"

Alice didn't answer, paralyzed with unease. She turned back to her papa and Rumplestiltskin, as if staring at them from across the clearing would give her any answers. Killian was advancing on him, fingers curling around the hilt of his sword.

"Something's wrong," she said, jumping to her feet and bolting down the steps before Robin could get a word in.

_—Alice could have had a..._

Killian's voice cut into her thoughts again as she dashed across the clearing, his words fading away once again. She hardly needed to hear him to detect the vitriol with which he spoke.

She stopped at what she could only hope was a safe distance away, the precarious proximity to her papa almost too much to bear.

"What's going on here?" she asked, painfully aware of the way Killian took a step backwards at her approach.

The animosity faded into two apologetic gazes that settled on her. Rumplestiltskin's eyes shifted between her and Killian, who seemed stunned.

"He didn't tell you?" Killian asked, almost in a whisper, then turned to Rumplestiltskin and repeated, with more force, "You didn't even _tell_ her?"

"It's okay, papa," she assured him, resisting every urge to step between them. "I know you warned me not to trust him, but he came to me for a test. He just couldn't tell me what for until after, and..."

As she trailed off, she started to doubt her words. Nothing in Rumplestiltskin's demeanor since their return had been the least bit comforting, and she was beginning to get the sinking feeling that something was very, very wrong.

"He was just looking to get rid of his dagger, is all," she finished, unsure of herself.

" _Get rid of,_ or _pass on?_ "

The question was directed at Rumplestiltskin. Alice was sure she had already put the answer together.

"I'm so sorry, Alice," he answered, finally caving. "I—I was about to take the dagger back, but I hesitated a moment too long and—"

" _Hesitated?_ " Killian hissed. He started to inch forward, his steps slow. "You planned for her to take it from the beginning and you have the _audacity_ to—"

His next words were caught in his throat as he stepped too close and Alice saw the telltale stab of green light that accompanied a poisoned heart. The angry mark on her wrist prickled in response, sending a pang of fear through her.

"Papa, don't!" she exclaimed, taking a step back in panic. He followed suit, grimacing in pain and keeping his eyes fixed on Rumplestiltskin, still roiling with anger. He took a long, stuttering breath, his hand fixed over his heart.

"What's he talking about?" Alice demanded, turning to question Rumplestiltskin herself. "What does _passing on_ the dagger mean?"

"It means you inherit all of its effects—or most, I suppose—including its magic," he explained.

She'd figured that one out by now. She could guess at what was coming next, but hearing it would make it real, and the thought terrified her.

"And the immortality."

"Immortality," Alice breathed, unfurling her fingers and staring at her palms as if there were answers to be found there.

"It's just another tower, Alice. I—I didn't think to take it back until it was too late, and now you've paid the price."

She could feel it now that it had been brought to her attention—the air crackling just beneath her fingertips, ready to leap at her command, the warmth that kept her alert slowly coursing through her veins.

"You never thought to tell me?" she asked, her voice small.

_I'm in the world forever,_ she had said. How true those words were now.

Eternal life, she had once thought, didn't sound all that bad—her papa's tales of decades upon decades of adventures had fascinated and thrilled her. Seven years without human contact and a series of lonely adventures of her own were soon to change her mind.

She looked back to Killian. His expression had softened, his anger at the former Dark One converted to concern for her at the moment of truth. It was the same expression that had haunted her for ages, his pained gaze from the base of her tower, clutching at his poisoned heart. Were she to lose him a second time, she knew the endless isolation that followed couldn't be resolved with something as simple as a birthday wish.

"From the very beginning, you just wanted me to take your burden from you," Alice said to Rumplestiltskin, her voice still disbelieving. "Consequences be damned."

"Alice, I—"

"Please go."

The magic was surging through her now, threatening to boil over the surface. Her fingers had tensed and curled together, the ends of her hair billowing under the pressure.

Her mounting anger at Rumplestiltskin was hardly the only force at play—every terrifying possibility of spending an eternity alone gripped her.

_Surely_ she could have done things differently. She hated the thought the moment it crossed her mind, but just as she had done from atop the tower, she found herself retracing her steps, asking where she went wrong. She wasn't at fault, and she _knew_ it, but it didn't stop her from turning the question over and over.

"Go!" she insisted when Rumplestiltskin only stared.

He ran.

Killian glanced after him, venom in his eyes as he watched his retreat through the woods. He looked at though he might have chased after him if he weren't propped up against the tree and grimacing in pain. When he looked back at Alice, his expression shifted back once more.

"Are you alright?"

_No._ Her anxiety had brought the dagger's magic around her in a white hot vice grip, and she feared she would burst at any second. All she wanted was to collapse into her papa's arms and tell him _no, I'm not alright,_ but that would only cause more pain for the both of them.

"I have to go," she blurted, turning on her heel and dashing back to the cottage.

"Alice!" Killian called behind her, but her heart was pounding in her ears and she couldn't bear it any longer.

She nearly bumped head first into Robin.

"Alice? What happened?" she asked, suddenly alert.

Alice didn't answer, instead letting her feet carry her through the front door without another word. The door slammed shut behind her with a barely conscious _push_ of her magic.

Her breathing slowed. She closed her eyes and felt herself sink to her knees, dizziness taking over. When she opened them again, she met the lazy, button-eyed gaze of her Mr. Rabbit watching her from across the room.

"Looks like someday it'll be you and me for an awfully long time again, won't it?"

_Knock knock knock._

"Alice. Is everything okay?" Robin's voice asked through the door.

Alice leaned forward slightly and rubbed both palms across her face as if to wipe her stress away. The answer was a hard _no,_ but she was hardly in the mood to burden anyone else with her breakdown.

"I can't do this," she answered, her voice so soft she couldn't be sure Robin heard. "Not right now."

"Alice—"

"My papa," she interrupted, desperate to change the topic. "Is he okay?"

There was a pause, and Alice heard a slight exhale from the other side of the door. It wasn't an unwarranted question—she had gotten too close and activated the poison in his heart, and she knew the last time had left him bedridden for hours. She could tell, however, that Robin saw she was deflecting.

"I'll check on him," Robin agreed. There were sounds of shuffling and a few footsteps, before Alice heard another pause and Robin came back to add, "Hey. You know you can talk to me whenever you're ready."

Alice leaned her head back against the door and closed her eyes in something close to relief.

"Thanks, Robin," she whispered.

Robin's footsteps trailed off down the steps and once more, Alice felt herself slip back into the security of her loneliness.

* * *

Robin felt a rising uneasiness as her boots crunched their way across the clearing. She had been with Alice through many a stressful night as she wondered if she would ever be reunited with her father again, but Robin wasn't sure she had ever seen her this low. Something had gone wrong in between Alice's arrival home and now, but nothing in the distant conversation she had watched gave her the slightest idea what.

Alice wanted space. That much was clear. She often attempted to go it alone under pressure, and Robin worried about how great her newest burden was. At the moment, however, she had someone else's physical health to worry about.

Killian had been leaning against the tree since Alice ran off, hunched over on one shoulder for support. As she approached, she could see him breathing heavily, his face weary. There was something else in his eyes—anger, quiet and simmering, but visible nonetheless.

"Alice asked me to check on you," she explained.

"How is she?" Killian asked.

"Not great," Robin admitted. "I... think she wanted to be alone."

His eyes shifted to the side and a knowing look crossed his face.

_He can't do anything to help her,_ Robin thought. _It must be terrible._

"Look, why don't we get you back with the others?" she asked. "You don't seem alright."

She took a step forward, ready to sling his arm over her shoulders, when he pushed off from the tree.

"I can carry myself," he insisted, exhaustion dripping from his voice, "but thank you."

They started back into the trees, their steps slow.

"What happened back there?" Robin asked after a few moments.

"Poisoned heart, once again," Killian answered, a bitter edge to his voice. "My own fault, for getting too close."

Robin realized she had never seen the poison in action, and she hoped she would never have to again.

"Is that what Alice was upset about?"

"She didn't tell you herself?"

Robin shook her head.

"Strange, being the middleman between the two of you for once," Killian thought aloud. "It was Rumplestiltskin."

Her earlier conversation with Alice came to mind. She had seemed unsure of something the whole time, as if preoccupied with an idea. Something unseen had caught her attention before she had the chance to air it, however, and no amount of puzzling over it during the distant conversation she watched had made things any clearer.

She had never been particularly close with the former Dark One, either — most of what she knew of him was hearsay among Storybrooke's citizens or stories Alice told. Her mother's reluctance to speak of the man was no help, either. She knew he had a dark past, and though Alice's tales often spoke to the contrary, it seemed that perhaps it had reared its head once more.

"Alice said... he needed her help to get rid of his Dark One status, or something?"

"Aye," Killian answered, "and he conveniently neglected to fill her in on the consequences. He decided he was growing tired of his immortal life and thought to burden someone else with it."

Robin could hardly begin to wrap her mind around the concept.

"I warned him to leave her alone," he continued, his anger just beneath the surface. "I told him the two of you could have a happy life together—seems he didn't care."

"That's..." she trailed off, unsure of what to say. Admittedly, eternal life was the sort of thing that sounded fantastic on paper, but in execution, it seemed, it was a whole different story. Alice's panic made all too much sense to her now—she had spent years of her life all on her own, and was now facing down countless more in the future.

"She's just... stuck like that, forever?" Robin asked.

Killian's anger gave way to something else, a lost, forlorn look.

"I don't know," he admitted softly.

* * *

_Am I stuck this way?_ Alice asked herself as the sound of Robin's footsteps crunching across the snow finally faded out of earshot.

She brought her palms in front of her as if seeking for answers there. It was by her hands that the dagger had vanished, and in her desperation she wondered if there was any sign there.

Rumplestiltskin had needed her to be pure of heart. _Why?_ Was that so hard a trait to find? He needed, she assumed, someone capable of wielding the Dark One's power responsibly.

It was hardly an honor. The thought of all that power bubbling up inside of her was terrifying—she _knew_ she would mess it up. She always seemed to.

She slowly got to her feet, wiping tears from her eyes she hadn't even realized were there. She took several deep breaths, shaking all the while.

_Alice asked me to check on you._

Robin's voice, clear as day. She jumped in surprise, glancing around. When no Robin was to be found, she peeked through the window, where Robin and her papa were talking at the clearing's edge.

Alice frowned. That was the second time this had happened, and it made just as little sense as the first time.

"I've gone mad, haven't I?" she wondered aloud, looking to her stuffed animals for affirmation.

She turned around again to look out the window. Not long after, she watched Killian push himself away from the tree and head down the path to the woods with Robin, the pair engaged in conversation. Surely, she figured, he would fill Robin in on the situation.

_—Alice was upset about?_

Robin's voice again. She could see her speaking the words in real time now, even as she disappeared into the trees. There was no doubt it truly was Robin's voice she heard. But _how?_

She wasn't mad, Alice told herself. This was some kind of side effect of her new power—she wasn't expecting to get used to it any time soon, but the least she could do was figure out how it operated.

_Alice said... he needed her help..._

Robin's voice cut through her thoughts a third time, her last words fading out once more.

"My name," she realized, squinting out the window. "Why my name?"

She thought back to her time spent with Rumplestiltskin. He had always been reluctant to use his magic in excess, but she had gleaned a lot about the Dark One from stories of a time when he had been far more liberal with his power. There was something uncanny in his ability to know when someone was talking about him—and she realized now just what that was.

Another one of the Dark One's powers. No—the Guardian's, now. _Hers._

If the newfound magic humming beneath her skin hadn't been enough to cement her new reality, this certainly was. The thought made her sick.

_Alice Jones._

The voice jolted her out of her thoughts and pulled her back into reality. This one was far different from Robin's, and it spoke her name slowly and deliberately, as if addressing her directly.

"What do you want?" she answered back, her voice small, nervous. She was unsure the speaker could even hear her, but the precision in its tone set her on edge.

_Alice Jones._

It was Rumplestiltskin, she realized. Her anxiety faded into something more like irritation. Surely he knew he was the last person she wanted to hear from right now, let alone talk to.

_Alice Jones._

Suddenly, she could _see_ him in her mind's eye—standing alone somewhere on a worn wooden floor, eyes darting downwards. It was as if she could reach out and touch him, should she choose.

_Alice, I want to help you. Please._

She didn't want his help. Right now, however, she would take anything.

Before she could think better of it, she reached out with her mind and felt herself slip through space to where Rumplestiltskin stood. A fleeting feeling of vertigo passed through her for just a moment, the same feeling she had when she came home after the altar trip. Another puff of blue smoke faded out of her vision and she found herself face to face Rumplestiltskin himself.

"Whoa," she let out despite herself, wobbling on her feet to get her bearings.

He began speaking before she had a chance to retort to his earlier remark. "Look, Alice, I know you're ups—"

"Some _help_ you did earlier," Alice interrupted. "Why should I listen to you after that?"

He paused for a moment, rethinking his words.

"What I did was a mistake."

_A bit late for that,_ Alice thought, but decided to listen for the moment.

"I truly want to do what I can to make it up to you, Alice, I—"

"Can you undo it?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "I—I don't know if Guardianship can be passed on or removed, especially without the dagger."

The dagger. It had simply disappeared, melted down into its purest state. Either it didn't exist anymore and it could no longer help her, or it _did_ —and it was somewhere out in the world, her name engraved on the blade, capable of controlling her should it fall into the wrong hands. She wasn't sure which reality she preferred.

" _But_ ," Rumplestiltskin continued, "I know quite a bit about its origins. If you want to learn more about your own situation, there's one place you can go."

Alice bit her lip, frowning. She hardly cared to trust the man after she had spent the whole day playing right into his hands, but with his power gone, she could hardly imagine him being capable of much more deceit. Her curiosity tugged at her, and his profuse display of guilt seemed genuine, if unhelpful.

"Where's that?" she asked after a moment.

He seemed the slightest bit relieved at her taking his offer.

"Have you ever been to Camelot?"


End file.
